In your anger do not sin. These are the words that are repeating over and over like a worn out recording. it's the voice of my conscience.
Heart is burning.
Nerves are tense.
Smells like ammonia in my nostrils.
And bitter syrup in my throat.
No air in some of my alveolus, chest compressed.
Suppressing the bitterness.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Many say life starts at 30. I agree, as I look back at the years spent in youth was to lay the foundations for what lies ahead. If the foundations were flimsy and not rooted on unshakeable grounds, the chances are that my future would be gloomy. But praise be to God, my foundation is nothing else but Christ, the Rock of all ages. Even if those years in youth were spent in pleasure and odd jobs and much exploration, I believe they're but parts of the bigger picture and ingredients for God's plan in my life.
Looking back to evaluate how I spent my life without Christ were also part of God's plan. If I did not walk that path, I would not have known much about the dark side and the way the prince of this world operates in the spiritual realm. Thanks be to God, by grace through faith Christ made known Himself to me, I am able to discern now. There was no one who can save me, not myself, not my intelligence, not my qualifications, no not even the wealth of the world, but only someone so big that is in control of every situation, someone who is able to rebuke the storm, someone who is tempted in every way yet was without sin, someone who did not despise the adulterous women, someone who welcomed a convict into paradise. That someone is not just anyone. He is really someone. My Jesus, who keeps saving me even now and until the day I die.
To acknowledge a Supreme Being above me, life is more simple and less complicated. When I believe someone created me, I fell more secure when I know I can rely on someone who knows me better than myself, who knows the universe at His fingertips. The best part is, when I pray to Him, he answers my prayer. That marks the difference between religion and a relationship with God. Many wonder how can man have a relationship with God? People just can't comprehend the simplicity of Jesus dying on the cross to reconnect man with God. This is true because as I read a part of the Bible that says something like this: The prince of this world (aka Satan) has blinded them from this truth.
Many of my peers are starting to have their own family, some have successful story to tell, some have businesses that can last for a few generations, some have been to most part of the world and many more. When I look at myself, there was nothing much. Not much achievements, not much gains. But thankfully, I have a certain bright future ahead of me. Heaven. No eyes have seen, no ears have heard. I heard that heaven is far beyond the best things this world has to offer. Multibillionaire? mulitply by infinity, that's heaven. Driving a Ferrari? multiply by infinity, that's heaven. Holiday in Mauritius? multiply by infinity, that's heaven. The joy of having a baby? multiply by infinity, that's heaven.
I heard that Heaven is so true that God would grieve so badly if we end up in hell. Not that he created hell, but His absence is hell. I find this true every Sunday when Christians congregate to worship God, and the presence of God drives out everything negative...sickness, depression, worry, fear,..etc.
Looking back to evaluate how I spent my life without Christ were also part of God's plan. If I did not walk that path, I would not have known much about the dark side and the way the prince of this world operates in the spiritual realm. Thanks be to God, by grace through faith Christ made known Himself to me, I am able to discern now. There was no one who can save me, not myself, not my intelligence, not my qualifications, no not even the wealth of the world, but only someone so big that is in control of every situation, someone who is able to rebuke the storm, someone who is tempted in every way yet was without sin, someone who did not despise the adulterous women, someone who welcomed a convict into paradise. That someone is not just anyone. He is really someone. My Jesus, who keeps saving me even now and until the day I die.
To acknowledge a Supreme Being above me, life is more simple and less complicated. When I believe someone created me, I fell more secure when I know I can rely on someone who knows me better than myself, who knows the universe at His fingertips. The best part is, when I pray to Him, he answers my prayer. That marks the difference between religion and a relationship with God. Many wonder how can man have a relationship with God? People just can't comprehend the simplicity of Jesus dying on the cross to reconnect man with God. This is true because as I read a part of the Bible that says something like this: The prince of this world (aka Satan) has blinded them from this truth.
Many of my peers are starting to have their own family, some have successful story to tell, some have businesses that can last for a few generations, some have been to most part of the world and many more. When I look at myself, there was nothing much. Not much achievements, not much gains. But thankfully, I have a certain bright future ahead of me. Heaven. No eyes have seen, no ears have heard. I heard that heaven is far beyond the best things this world has to offer. Multibillionaire? mulitply by infinity, that's heaven. Driving a Ferrari? multiply by infinity, that's heaven. Holiday in Mauritius? multiply by infinity, that's heaven. The joy of having a baby? multiply by infinity, that's heaven.
I heard that Heaven is so true that God would grieve so badly if we end up in hell. Not that he created hell, but His absence is hell. I find this true every Sunday when Christians congregate to worship God, and the presence of God drives out everything negative...sickness, depression, worry, fear,..etc.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
So I question myself.......
All the time, generally about life and the question that arises along the way. What is right and what is wrong. Surely there is a distinct of both but how do we differ when it comes to devotion. How to measure devotion? Can intimacy be measured? Can we evaluate relationship?
The more I think about it, the more a complex person i become. I am adaptive in much situation and circumstances and behaviour and have acquired the skill of a shapechanger or a pretender. Maybe to some I have become a threat, but I am just being myself. Should I take side?
I should choose to live a genuine life. I don't live a lie. I just want to be myself, the way I was created to be. But all the more to be transformed into the likeness of Christ. This I always remind myself. That Jesus (Yes, all the Glory to God the Father and my Lord Christ Jesus) would be the focus and my example as fully God, fully Man.
The tendency of idolatry is bound to happen each time should I choose to turn my attention to the created rather than the Creator. Pride subtly creeps in without notice and soon come into realization when I take glory for the accomplishment. May I be reminded always that I must give an account of my earthly life when I return to the Lord someday.
Recently, the blessings of the Lord is showered upon me and keep on showering on me because I believe that if Jabez's prayer was answered God would answer my prayer too. The desperate cry of Jabez showed me that someone unsignificant like him can be blessed proves that God doesn't show favoritism. He indeed bless me; 1st of all to set things right and setting me on the right track again. I worship the Blesser, not the blessing. When I worship the Blesser, He gets the glory. If I worship the blessing, I have committed idolatry. So I must ask for the spirit of wisdom and revelation in discerning what it meant to be enjoying the blessing and not worshipping the blessing. Holy Spirit help me.
A new job, a new lifestlye, and a new purpose. But same Gospel, same family, same set of tools, gifts and talent.(There could be an addition, at the discretion of the Almighty if He finds me faithful for the good and faithful servant will be given more.....and more will be expected of him too) Yet U choose for me, and I shall not be in want Lord. I shall not be in want.
Yesterday, the Lord reminded me at a flash of mind that obedience is better than sacrifice. Just got me thinking that we are so forgetful as humans. So what are the important things that I should remember? and so I question myself.......
The more I think about it, the more a complex person i become. I am adaptive in much situation and circumstances and behaviour and have acquired the skill of a shapechanger or a pretender. Maybe to some I have become a threat, but I am just being myself. Should I take side?
I should choose to live a genuine life. I don't live a lie. I just want to be myself, the way I was created to be. But all the more to be transformed into the likeness of Christ. This I always remind myself. That Jesus (Yes, all the Glory to God the Father and my Lord Christ Jesus) would be the focus and my example as fully God, fully Man.
The tendency of idolatry is bound to happen each time should I choose to turn my attention to the created rather than the Creator. Pride subtly creeps in without notice and soon come into realization when I take glory for the accomplishment. May I be reminded always that I must give an account of my earthly life when I return to the Lord someday.
Recently, the blessings of the Lord is showered upon me and keep on showering on me because I believe that if Jabez's prayer was answered God would answer my prayer too. The desperate cry of Jabez showed me that someone unsignificant like him can be blessed proves that God doesn't show favoritism. He indeed bless me; 1st of all to set things right and setting me on the right track again. I worship the Blesser, not the blessing. When I worship the Blesser, He gets the glory. If I worship the blessing, I have committed idolatry. So I must ask for the spirit of wisdom and revelation in discerning what it meant to be enjoying the blessing and not worshipping the blessing. Holy Spirit help me.
A new job, a new lifestlye, and a new purpose. But same Gospel, same family, same set of tools, gifts and talent.(There could be an addition, at the discretion of the Almighty if He finds me faithful for the good and faithful servant will be given more.....and more will be expected of him too) Yet U choose for me, and I shall not be in want Lord. I shall not be in want.
Yesterday, the Lord reminded me at a flash of mind that obedience is better than sacrifice. Just got me thinking that we are so forgetful as humans. So what are the important things that I should remember? and so I question myself.......
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Last Friday I shared in CG that though I went out dinner with some good looking colleagues of mine, I would not decide on choosing a life partner hastily. She has to be a virtuous woman like the one described in Proverbs 31.
The Virtuous Wife
10 Who[b] can find a virtuous[c] wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “ Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
The Virtuous Wife
10 Who[b] can find a virtuous[c] wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “ Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Am I being cruel? I sometimes think that if I don't be cruel people don't learn from their mistakes and chances are that people also take for granted things that are easily possessed. Being as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove really keeps my soul from trouble and harm.
Yet, Christ has called me to love my neighbour as myself but the 1st commandment is to love the Lord with all my heart,soul, mind and might. So I shall always remember to please the Lord 1st and not seek to please men for I've been trained not to be a 'men-pleaser'. If I choose to please men and in spite of their self-indulging, self-pleasing, self-seeking attitude, they will never learn what it means to hunger and thirst for righteousness.
No excuse for young believers, for I was taught and trained, chastised and spurred the way that I'm treating other young believers. I hope they learn quick and not to quench the Holy Spirit. They have to understand what it means to be God-pleasers, to depart from evil and to fear God.
Yet, Christ has called me to love my neighbour as myself but the 1st commandment is to love the Lord with all my heart,soul, mind and might. So I shall always remember to please the Lord 1st and not seek to please men for I've been trained not to be a 'men-pleaser'. If I choose to please men and in spite of their self-indulging, self-pleasing, self-seeking attitude, they will never learn what it means to hunger and thirst for righteousness.
No excuse for young believers, for I was taught and trained, chastised and spurred the way that I'm treating other young believers. I hope they learn quick and not to quench the Holy Spirit. They have to understand what it means to be God-pleasers, to depart from evil and to fear God.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Am I really facing midlife crisis?
I don't agree with others who are trying to bombard me with the kinda thinking and mentality they own especially my dad who brags about himself of being a dad at the age of 21. But I am not happy with myself either with the current issues that are loitering in my mind and my life, and I can't always keep a positive attitude coz somehow the devil will try its way to sneak in and place some depressions. I'm just wondering if there is someone out there who I can really trust and rely in times like this, and true enough, not 1 single dog can stay by my side when I'm in deep dog shit. No, not even 1/2.
Perhaps this is what I call 'human with animal instincts'. The words in Proverbs are so true when it says you will have friends around you when you're well to do. And those who stick around you even when life is tough are the true ones you cherish in life. Not even your closest relatives deserves that kinda recognition. No, not even 1/2.
But the more I seek for someone who is out there, the more i realise that the person was all the while inside of me. How can I be so forgetful and ignorant of His presence when He is more than all the rest of 'them'. I'm referring to the 3rd person of the Triune God that I know; God the Father, God the Son (Jesus), and God the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is found in each true believers.
After reading about Joseph's story all over again, I must keep reminding myself that this is just for temporary time being until the full restoration is installed. Joseph had to be sold by his blood brothers to a foreign land because of jealousy and envy, and he was also framed by his employer's(Potiphar) wife that he committed adultery with her. After doing a favor for one of Pharoah's official he was forgotten for his kindness and remain in prison for the next 2 years. But little did he know that all this had to come to pass before God restored him to what was promised in a dream, and ultimately become the prime minister of Egypt.
So, who cares what people say about me? As long as my conscience is clear before God and men, I am not living a life of hypocrisy nor aimlessly. The day of restoration has begun and it will be fulfilled by the grace of God and for the glory of the Almigthy One.
Perhaps this is what I call 'human with animal instincts'. The words in Proverbs are so true when it says you will have friends around you when you're well to do. And those who stick around you even when life is tough are the true ones you cherish in life. Not even your closest relatives deserves that kinda recognition. No, not even 1/2.
But the more I seek for someone who is out there, the more i realise that the person was all the while inside of me. How can I be so forgetful and ignorant of His presence when He is more than all the rest of 'them'. I'm referring to the 3rd person of the Triune God that I know; God the Father, God the Son (Jesus), and God the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit is found in each true believers.
After reading about Joseph's story all over again, I must keep reminding myself that this is just for temporary time being until the full restoration is installed. Joseph had to be sold by his blood brothers to a foreign land because of jealousy and envy, and he was also framed by his employer's(Potiphar) wife that he committed adultery with her. After doing a favor for one of Pharoah's official he was forgotten for his kindness and remain in prison for the next 2 years. But little did he know that all this had to come to pass before God restored him to what was promised in a dream, and ultimately become the prime minister of Egypt.
So, who cares what people say about me? As long as my conscience is clear before God and men, I am not living a life of hypocrisy nor aimlessly. The day of restoration has begun and it will be fulfilled by the grace of God and for the glory of the Almigthy One.
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